In principle, my initial reaction — my first thought — is very rarely my best thought. Often my first thought is absurd and shows me how not to react. Like first brush strokes on a canvas, first thoughts provide a starting place for more refined thoughts, for subsequent brush strokes. First thoughts, like initial brush strokes, are rarely worth sharing. In fact, sharing first thoughts can be deeply counter-productive to good group decisions. Practical Tip: Just because I think something, doesn’t mean I have to ... (continue)

This post was submitted by NCDD member Michelle Miller of MMBD Consulting… Getting people involved is one of the most powerful approaches we can take to build team and build skills. However, often we choose whether or not to involve others, it’s based on an “I” decision. For instance, “Do I need support in making this decision?” Or, “Do I need new and better ideas?” Another way to look at it is to judge how this opportunity can help build something that the organization or team may ... (continue)

In principle, if a disagreement is caused by an outside issue that has nothing to do with the group issue at hand, then it must be dealt with outside the group. An outside issue is a disagreement because of, for example, some incident between the parties that happened years ago and was never dealt with, or because of a mental disorder or perhaps an addiction. Or perhaps the conflict is related to a misconception closely held since childhood or an illogical fear. Outside issues are usually ... (continue)

This post was written by Jill Miller Zimon of TheCivicCommons.org, a new organizational member of NCDD… Online and offline conversations can differ in some significant ways. For example, you can’t see body language and you can’t hear intonation. But our track record at the Civic Commons has shown us several ways in which we can use an online platform and go where few other dare to tread (including civil digital discourse). This topic becomes particularly relevant as facilitation practitioners, like those who belong to the National ... (continue)

For those wondering what they might do to help heal rifts or navigate the difficult issues in our communities, Sarah Read at The Communications Center, Inc. offer two resources… The first is our essay on dialogues on gun violence which was recently recognized by the National Institute for Civil Discourse. It can be downloaded on our blog, and the end notes contain many additional resources: http://buildingdialogue.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/planning-for-civil-discourse-about-gun-violence/ We also recently published a workbook to help communities evaluate their readiness for difficult dialogues and to better plan for and ... (continue)

In principle, when we have expectations of others that don’t pan out it often leads to resentment which often brews discontent which often causes conflict. I have heard someone say that expectations are planned resentments. The surest way to avoid resentment is to not have expectations. When I fall into a victim role it’s helpful to remember that I am rarely a victim of others and often I am a victim of my own expectations. Practical Tip: As a participant in group decisions, I try ... (continue)

In principle, the same formality is required to change an agreement as to make an agreement. For instance, if an agreement is made in a group meeting and properly documented, no member of the group should assume that the agreement has changed or act in ways contrary to the agreement until the agreement is changed in a group meeting and properly documented. Group agreements often get ignored over time and people come to think it is okay to behave contrary to what was agreed to. The ... (continue)

The following post, written by CommunityMatters fellow Caitlyn Horose, is reposted from the Orton Family Foundation blog. CommunityMatters®, a partnership of seven national organizations including Orton [and NCDD], share the belief that people have the power to solve their community’s problems and direct future growth and change. As leaders in the fields of civic engagement and community and economic development, the partners believe that by strengthening civic infrastructure, communities can become more prosperous, vibrant places to live. Why is civic infrastructure key? Because, like the ... (continue)

In principle, there are at least two ways to solve every problem. When we are able to be nonjudgmental, we are able to see problems not as problems at all but as misalignments. For example, the problem is not that I am right and you are wrong, it is simply that we see things differently. The problem is not that we are spending too much it is simply that we are spending more than we are earning. When we see difficulties as misalignments rather than problems, ... (continue)

I was thrilled to learn all about the “Sharing Economy” on last week’s CommunityMatters conference call.  A lot of what Neal Gorenflo (Co-founder and Publisher of Shareable Magazine) talked about on the call resonated strongly with me, as I found that Shareable’s philosophy of group decision making and collaboration is very aligned with the dialogue and deliberation community’s principles and work. The Sharing Economy is not just about pooling resources like bikes, cars, yard tools, and office space; it’s also about rebuilding a lost sense of community, ... (continue)